21st Century Food Misnomers

Today there is an increasing pressure on consumer food choices in terms of brands, sources and ideologies thanks to gourmet snobs and the ethical food police. Michael Pollan in his book, In The Defense of Food, advises shopping on the perimeters of the supermarket since it contains the ‘fresh’ produce like dairy, meat and fish, thus avoiding ‘processed evils’ that line the middle aisles, most of which contain high-fructose corn syrup. Pollan is definitely onto something …

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Rushing down the escalator at Woolworth’s, (Australia’s leading supermarket chain) making a dash for a carton of milk and half a dozen eggs, on my way home from the gym I could not avoid being enticed by rows of frosted cupcakes sitting pretty in the main centre aisle that immediately caught my eye. Ahhh, now that would make for some awesome food porn was my initial thought, followed by some deeper analysis. A mathematical analogy sprung to mind as I starred enamoured by the pretty cupcakes patterned with pastel frosting: ‘the sum of all parts must be equal’. You must be wondering, why math, and what the hell does it have to do with cake? Let me break it down, these cupcakes looked utterly delicious, swirls of piped lemon frosting showered with tiny blue and red stars contrasted by chocolaty tidal waves of icing looping round and round, finally gently kissing the tops of the golden-brown cupcakes and embellished with sliced banana. When something looks so good, before you know it your imagination takes off as you contemplate the taste, envision the texture and anticipate the sweetness, ultimately bracing yourself for the satisfaction that first bite is sure to yield. In my mind I could almost taste the icing on my tongue and a reflex kicked in causing me to smack my lips in anticipation – suddenly aware that I must look ridiculous mesmerised by endless rows of cupcakes, eyeballing them like a frenzied-cake-lovin’-fat-kid, I force myself to push aside the big question: How on earth could they look so good and be selling on ‘special’ at two for $2! I was a bit weary, should I be happy or scared? Was it going to be a pleasant surprise or a nasty shock? Mind boggled, I picked up two cupcakes and carefully placed them in my basket to find out.

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More often than not my food decisions factor health and price, forming what I believe is the perfect balance. And while this is true for the most part, I’d be lying if I said that I avoid the supermarkets like the plague or that I only buy organic produce, fair-trade coffee, free-range eggs and artisanal cheese.

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In fact I don’t buy into the whole organic movement one bit! Personally I think it’s a crock of shit. Westerners think they want ‘real’ organic – trust me they/you can’t handle 100 per cent ‘authentic’ organic! I’m from India, the land of organic and everything we grow is miniscule, garlic cloves that are the size of my pinkie nail and a pain-in-the-ass to clean, tomatoes the size of golf balls that are rarely ever vine ripened or trussed and almost never found blushing in a brilliant, red hue. As for the capsicums they look maimed or deformed, like ugly wrinkled witches noses. In terms of taste and cooking they tend be high in water content, giving out lots of moisture making it difficult to sauté and stir fry veggies, easier to steam, stew or curry instead.

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My stand on free-range versus caged is – blah, blah, blah! Studies and research have indicated that free-range chickens don’t necessarily have a better life than caged-chickens (that is before their entire world goes pitch black). The terminology free-range is designed to make you think that in some way they are free, (which they are not, they are caged as well), it simply means that there is a tad bit more room for them to try and flap a wing. The question to be asked instead is, how much more room? Frankly I think the difference would be comparable to the amount leg-space one would gain from upgrading from a mini-coupe to sedan. Sure, the extra leg-room is nice, but the coupe won’t kill you, especially if you have short legs like mine!

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Shopping at the Central Market is an absolute pleasure, but given its location and the cities dysfunctional bus routes it requires a bit of planning ahead, that makes it a strictly once a week affair. Although I try to be as organised as possible, I usually have to nip into the supermarket twice a week to pick up something that invariably got left off the week’s shopping list, or to re-stock my pantry. And yes occasionally I may even buy an odd cupcake loaded with preservatives, chemicals and high-fructose corn syrup!

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As for these babies, they worked like a charm paired with a steaming cuppa coffee to round off my day. Sometimes you just gotta check your brain at the metal detectors at the supermarket, and live a little (and by that I mean wander the middle aisles)!